Yeah, this took a while…
I am a WOMAN-CHILD!!!!!!!
Sometimes you just gotta SCREAM the truth into the void or into the interwebs and let it settle. Look, every adult was a child once but only a few actually REMEMBER it. I don’t know if that’s a curse or a blessing. I think I’m just growing up but at an extremely slow pace. There must be a name for that syndrome! Like, when will I stop playing adult and actually be one? And do I even want to?
These are all good questions for my therapist once I actually go back to therapy right? I know.
Anyways, Happy Wednesday BABIES! If you haven’t already checked out my latest episode which was released on Monday then what are you waiting for! If you have listened, then send me your thoughts on the episode. I wanna interact with you baby. Also, I dropped my first Patreon exclusive episode this weekend. I have like 0 patreons so if you wanna pop my cherry I’m ready. Your support would mean E V E R Y T H I N G to me. You’ll get tons of benefits and episodes recorded just for you. If you become a member on buymeacoffee.com/sdanxious I’ll give you access as well.
I've been guesting on pods a lot more lately and that's been a really fun experience. If you're a host and you want me as a guest don't be afraid to get at me bro.
I've also been having a lot of guests lately! Do you guys like that? Do you hate it? Are you indifferent? Tellllll meeeee.
This weekend my mom told me I should get married already. Normally I’d just make a face like ‘mom, ewww gross’ but I realize that’s pretty juvenile at twenty-freaking-nine. So I bounced the idea around in my head as seriously as I could muster and….
And I guess it might not be the WORST thing in the world….right? I just had trouble with the thought that some poor bastard who willingly gets leg shackled to me has to have his entire life turned upside down and regret the decision forever. So, after processing that I came to the conclusion that the only way to avoid feeling guilty in that scenario would be to marry someone as fucked up as me—but in a fun, different kinda way. A sexier way.
Maybe like some criminal mastermind or something.
Look, I’ve been watching A LOT of Peaky Blinders and Breaking Bad and TV based around mobsters and gangsters. From what I can surmise? It’s an exciting life with a bloody end and if I played my cards right I could cash out as the wife of some notorious whomever.
Plus, bad guys just turn me on. Not toxic wife-beater, trash bad. But yanno. 🇧 🇦 🇩
They give me just the right amount of thrill and NOTHING beats the bad guy that’s good to me and only me.
I’ll have to mention my plan the next time my mother proposes I get married, see what she thinks of having a Public Enemy #1 type in the family. Honestly, I think a mobster is the way to go. At least I’d know they’re family-oriented, loyal and would understand my penchant for drama. These things are extremely important when you start talking forever.
Side note: I’ve been having a lot of toxic fantasies lately ! Why am I so turned on by unavailable men? Taken ✅ ? 💦It’s starting to become a REAL problem. I just can’t seem to help my thoughts and knowing me, pretty soon they’ll be actions. Basically, if you’re a hot unavailable guy please stay away from me until further notice. This is a PSA.
(or don’t! Come find me and tie me up for some rough, headboard knocking, pound into me balls deep sex. I’ll orgasm and get it out of my system!)
In other news, I’m up for a major promotion at work. More and more I find myself sitting at the table with the big boys. It’s hard to miss the fact that I’m moving up the ladder when I’m spending so much time in conference rooms full of men where I’m the only woman and I’m not there to take notes. It’s sad that that’s the mile marker but this is where we are folks.
That said, I’ve been under an immense amount of pressure/stress lately. In times like these, it really makes me happy to have you all. The podcast community is by far the best, I just feel so loved and accepted and entertained and supported. Having an outlet where I can focus on other things aside from all the DO OR DIE, MAKE OR BREAK MY CAREER projects has been pretty much a godsend. So thank you.
Seriously. If you’re reading this just know that I love and you matter to me.
Before my head hits the pillow, if you’ve been listening to the podcast and you want me to talk about a certain topic or have a suggestion, comment, question….please reach out to me via email and let me know!
I would love your feedback.
Oh and um, I’ve got some big ideas in this head of mine. Follow me on Twitter to see the announcement I make soon about an upcoming event, with YOU in mind.
Anyways,
I love you.
I’m so tired.
I hope you sleep well tonight babies.
—Local Neighborhood Baby
